Thursday, November 10, 2011

What to eat?

So, what do you eat when it seems like everything makes you sick to your stomach?  I've tried eating only bland foods and I've tried eating exactly what seems like a good idea at the time, regardless of what it is.  I know it is because I am still so sad because I can't hug my son every day.  I know I have to eat.  Everyone around me seems to remind me all the time and even seems to pay particular attention to what and when I eat.  I simply don't care to eat.  I still cook.  I have to cook for Michaela and I generally let her choose what we will have for dinner like I used to let Nicholas choose. 

I ate five "tater logs" today.  They smelled good when I walked in the Favorite Market to get a Diet Coke.  I always ask for the skinny ones because the fat ones don't seem to get cooked all the way.  They lady huffed when I asked for them like she was having a bad day.  I told her that I hoped her day got better and she said, "My day is just FINE!  It's just digging through these....!"  I guess she didn't mind letting me know that I was putting her out tremendously by asking for the skinny ones.  I know she didn't realize it took all the effort I had to smile at her today so I forgive her for being so disagreeable.  I'm sure she has bad things going on in her life right now too.  It did set me to thinking about how just a little kindness all of the time can make a difference.  I do try to always be kind but I think I will try even harder.  You just never know what someone else is going through.

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