I dig it.

I totally dig being the "older" student in my food writing class.  It doesn't bother me in the least, especially when we have a project session at my house and I get to cook something special for the folks that come over.  Tonight, I cooked bratwurst and brotchen and had it just about ready when everyone showed up to work on the cookbook project.  My hubby was happy because it's one of his favorite dishes and Wes, Mia, Tori, and Tyler all liked the Brotchen and Brats (Tori didn't eat the pork of course...lol).  I have always liked to cook real food for people and I like cooking something for someone that they have never had.  I loved Tyler's innocent question, "What's the difference between a brotchen and a brat?"...my answer..."One is a meat and one is a bread...lol"  I wanted to say something funnier but his question was so innocent, I just couldn't bring myself to be a smartypants.  I have never been able to figure out exactly why I like to cook so much.  Maybe it's the satisfaction.  Maybe it's seeing someone else enjoy something I have prepared.  I don't really care why....I just do. 

Diet Coke

Is there any better drink in the world?  I mean...it has some flavor but it's not so sickenly sweet that you will get sick if you drink a ton of them, which I do.  It's not like Dr. Pepper that eats your taste buds up.  It's not totally lacking any taste like water.  It has zero calories.  I just don't think it can get any better than that.  I hear people say they drink too many Diet Cokes and then tell me they drink 6 a day.  I'm ashamed to even try to count how many I drink a day.  6 would be a good, low number day though.  I guess if that's the only bad thing I do, I'm okay, right?

Some things I don't understand...

I make this dish I call "Whipalo" and my husband absolutely loves it.  I make it only every so often....not even once a year any more.  I made it tonight so I could take pics for the recipe book and made the orange kind, which is his favorite.  It's a "sweet" dish, like a treat after dinner but not so sweet as a cake.  He likes it enough that it illicits an "oo oo" response when I ask if he wants any.  The thing I don't understand is that he absolutely detests sour cream.  Like with a passion.  To the point that if he smells it when I put it on my potato, he acts like he is going to throw up.  This whipalo dish has 16 whole ounces of sour cream in it.  I've brought it up to him once or twice but he seems to forget in between times that I make it.  I usually just smirk to myself as he gobbles it up and when the whole bowl is almost gone, I remind him that it has sour cream in it.  Gotta get my kicks somewhere....

What to eat?

So, what do you eat when it seems like everything makes you sick to your stomach?  I've tried eating only bland foods and I've tried eating exactly what seems like a good idea at the time, regardless of what it is.  I know it is because I am still so sad because I can't hug my son every day.  I know I have to eat.  Everyone around me seems to remind me all the time and even seems to pay particular attention to what and when I eat.  I simply don't care to eat.  I still cook.  I have to cook for Michaela and I generally let her choose what we will have for dinner like I used to let Nicholas choose. 

I ate five "tater logs" today.  They smelled good when I walked in the Favorite Market to get a Diet Coke.  I always ask for the skinny ones because the fat ones don't seem to get cooked all the way.  They lady huffed when I asked for them like she was having a bad day.  I told her that I hoped her day got better and she said, "My day is just FINE!  It's just digging through these....!"  I guess she didn't mind letting me know that I was putting her out tremendously by asking for the skinny ones.  I know she didn't realize it took all the effort I had to smile at her today so I forgive her for being so disagreeable.  I'm sure she has bad things going on in her life right now too.  It did set me to thinking about how just a little kindness all of the time can make a difference.  I do try to always be kind but I think I will try even harder.  You just never know what someone else is going through.

Out of Date?

So, what's the deal with use by dates on things that are staple like products?  I cleaned out my cabinet yesterday to get cans for my nieces can-a-thon at school and decided to check some of the stuff that had been in there for ages to see if it was still in date.  There were several of those microwave desserts in a bowl that I had bought to try that had been sitting there unused because we just generally don't "do" those things that had gone out of date.  This led me to think about how the food manufacturers determine how long something will last?  These food manufacturers put so many preservatives in these foods that you would think they would last forever.  Canned goods are supposed to be good for years but those seem to have an expiration date that doesn't last that long either.  What gives?

The strangest things.....

Everyone knows I talked about my kid all the time when he was alive.  He was my whole world.  I don't anticipate that this will change anytime soon.  I hope that doesn't make people uncomfortable but to be perfectly honest, I really don't care.  I love my son more than anything and if I want to talk about him, I will.  You don't have to listen and I am okay with that.  I don't expect you to care like I do. 
Anyway,  back when Esa wrote about her "Chester's Hot Fries" obsession, I silently giggled to myself because I sat there thinking about Nicholas and how much he liked them as well.  He talked me into trying them a few times and I never really cared for them.  When I went into Nicholas' room to find what I wanted him to wear for visitation, I noticed a bag, empty of course, of those same Chester's Hot Fries in the garbage can in his room.  This reminded me of all of the times we would stop for snacks, usually at a QuickTrip because it is our favorite convenience store, and he would debate between Hot Fries, Funyuns, or Chex Mix.  He loved SunChips (Harvest Cheddar) as well but we usually kept these in the big bag at home for him so he didn't get these as a "special" snack. 
After deciding on his snack, Nicholas would always ask what size freezie he could get and I would tell him whatever size he wanted.  The reply was always the same but he always asked for some reason that I will never know now.  I was always rewarded with one of his cute little grins, though, as he pulled the monster size cup from the display and began to debate over the numerous freezie flavors that the QT offers.  Sometimes, he would decide on what flavor he wanted based on how frozen it was and he usually liked for me to fill his cup because he said that somehow I could fit more in the cup.  Whether that was true or he just wanted his momma to fix it---well, I guess I'll never know that either. 
As healthy as the kid ate for most of his life, I am glad that he got some enjoyment from junk food sometimes.  I have found myself, over the last few days, wanting the strangest things.  I am eating things that I have never eaten before.  All of them are things that my sweet son would ask for and I would buy and keep in the house for him but never eat myself.  So strange...but the Hot Fries were so good.

Bleh, food.

Bleh, food.  Not in the mood.  I'm finding lately that I don't care what I eat or even if I eat.  Nothing looks good, smells good, or sits well on my stomach.  I know it's my grief and sadness rather than the food; and it leads me to wonder why some people can barely eat when they are sad and some people feed their grief? 

Corn on the Cob

Corn is not really one of my favored vegetables.  I think of it as a "nothing" kind of vegetable because it kind of does "not a lot" for you.  I love popcorn, homemade of course..none of that microwave junk for me.  But, I could go the entire rest of my life without eating canned or frozen corn and not be sad.  However, when fall rolls around, I find myself positively craving corn on the cob, roasted, grilled, oven baked, or boiled.  It doesn't really matter.  I do like roasted best, with lots of butter, salt, and pepper.  It must have something to do with football and the fair.  These are usually the only times I eat roasted corn but, oh, how I enjoy it when I do!!  If you notice someone roasting corn somewhere, let me know...I am so ready!

So just what IS in a taste? Smell?

So, one of the scents that totally turns my stomach is the smell of vanilla.  Just the idea of the upcoming holiday cooking season sets my stomach on edge at the thought of smelling all the vanilla flavoring. The vanilla takeover doesn't stop in the kitchen as it seems to take over every candle shop and every shop that sells body lotion and spray as well.  Somehow, this scent has gotten associated with Fall, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas because starting in August...and now, even creeping into July...I am assaulted by this smell. 

The tasting of the vanilla flavoring is an entirely different story.  Because I can't stand the way it smells, I open and measure what I need as quickly as possible while trying to hold my nose; but I absolutely love the flavor it delivers when mixed into a recipe.  I don't think I could count all of the recipes I use during "the holidays" that utilize vanilla flavoring.  I do know that I buy the good stuff and go through several bottles of it during the season every year.  From cookies to pies to cakes and candies, vanilla flavoring brings all of the ingredients together.

How does something that smells so nasty manage to make everything taste so good?

Food, Friends, and Family

So many times, we gather with friends and family for food.  I've thought of this often lately and how when I think of a certain friend or family member, I automatically recall my favorite food they make or a funny thing that happened that involved food.  I wonder if we ever really realize how much our lives are centered around food?

When I think of Jan, I automatically think of grape salad.  Annette brings to mind a low country shrimp broil.  Mike's house is always hamburgers and beer.  Lindsay makes me think Panera because that is where we always go to meet up...and we always try to dodge that annoying lady we had class with that is ALWAYS there.  Shannon and Joey just make me think "grill" because it's always different but always involves the grill.  Paige and Dale equals egg rolls and fried rice, every time.  Momma Nicholson is the best stuffed mushrooms ever!  Aunt Robin is cheese ball deluxe.  Kristi is guacamole.  Mawmaw is homemade biscuits and all the other homemade yummies I conned her into teaching me.  Mom is fried chicken and salmon patties.  Lauren is macaroni and cheese and Jennifer is New Year's Day fixin's. 

It's funny, really, when one thinks really hard about food.  It's only for nourishment.  You take it in and put it out.  But we find so many ways to do it differently so that we can enjoy it.  We use it as a reason to get together to decompress with our friends and family and create traditions that bond us.  How nice....

All You Can Eat?

Why exactly is it that most people gorge themselves at an all-you-can eat buffet?  Is it the desire to try everything that is available and presented?  Is it the constant mother/father that was in the ear sternly stating, "Clean your plate.  There are starving children in China/Africa/wherever." phenomena?

My family generally doesn't "do" these types of buffets because we just don't eat very much.  You wouldn't think so to look at us...lol.  We aren't overly skinny, and in fact, my husband and son are both very brawny and hefty.  We would never get our money's worth at a buffet.  So, we just don't.  I'm totally discounting all of our heebie jeebies about germs and all that I learned during my VERY BRIEF time maintaining the buffet counter at Shoney's and hostessing at Ryan's many years ago.

We did have occasion recently to eat at what I would consider an all-you-can-eat buffet type place and I found myself watching the people around me.  We were at the Jacksonville State University cafeteria for an unofficial visit with our son and as part of the visit, we were to be fed (for free..lol) in the cafeteria.  Because of a rain delay, we were only given 20 minutes in the cafeteria.  As we sat and watched the people around us, my husband remarked, "I wonder if they only gave 20 minutes because of the rain or if they were worried everyone would clean the place out?"

I had to laugh because I looked at our table and between the three of us, we had four plates.  A salad we shared on one plate, a piece of spinach and tomato pizza for me, a cheeseburger for the kid on his plate, and another cheeseburger for the hubby on his plate.  They each had fries as well.  We felt like we were overdoing it because we got a salad to share. When I looked around at the other visitors, I saw tables of three and four with 10 and 12 plates of food stacked up.  Not all of these tables were just adults, either.  These were little kids eating more than one plate of food.

So, I wondered if they were just starving from making the same walk around campus and the football stuff that we had or if they wanted to make sure they didn't get hungry during the game and have to spend $3 for a hotdog?  Or was it the desire to try everything in the place?  I did notice the one guy, actually the biggest guy in the group of players visiting, eating the healthiest of all of us.  He had one plate, with just a wrap on it.  Kudos to him for not bending to the "Eat it all...there are starving children" mentality.

Dislike can be a really good thing!

So, my family has a serious aversion to ground beef (and many other foods) to the point that when we want a "hamburger" or something similar that is made from "ground beef," I will purchase lean steaks and have them ground up.  The only ground beef that our bodies can even handle is the ultra lean beef that is 97% or more lean.  This can present problems.  It limits choices of meals for certain.  I never realized how many gross things people cook with ground beef.  I guess it is a staple because it is cheap especially when the economy is in the tank!  It can make for interesting excuses of why I ALWAYS bring a pack of chicken breasts to a cookout if I don't know what is on the menu.

The truth is usually to long to tell and people don't understand it anyway.  The short of it is my kid takes medication every day for a stomach issue and I have had surgery for an intestinal issue.  We don't "do" ground beef and that's that.  Sometimes, it's more fun to make up some elaborate tale of why I just had to bring the chicken breast to grill.  Close friends and family get it and will sometimes jokingly ask why I brought the chicken just to see what I will come up with.  Not eating ground beef has also led to some interesting recipes.

Our family loves lasagna, homemade of course.  Well, I don't make the pasta homemade but I do make the sauce so I'm going to call it homemade!  Lasagna generally uses ground beef...yuck!  I love veggie lasagna but my boys don't care for that so much.  A few days ago, my hubby was wanting lasagna and we were discussing how even getting the steaks ground up that we didn't really like the texture that it presented when cooked as ground meat for some reason.  He suggested using chicken instead.

I thought to myself, "Chicken lasagna?  Gross?  You won't eat veggie lasagna but you want me to ruin a whole pan with chicken?"  I didn't say much just decided to try it like he is constantly trying the blue million healthy things I throw down in front of him.  Even now, the thought of it is drawing my nose up into a "oo yuck" face.  I gather the things I need and put the pan of lasagna together one morning for dinner that night. 

It turns out beautifully.  After only a couple of bites, I call my mom and tell her I am bringing her dinner.  When I tell her what it is, I can hear the snarl in her voice and imagine the same snooted up nose "oo yuck" face.  "Chicken lasagna?  Brandi, that just sounds gross."  "I know, mom." I tell her.  "But it's good.  I swear."  I take her a couple of healthy servings, one for her and one for her boyfriend, who is a "country" boy that eats JUST about anything. 

When I get to my mom's house and take the lasagna in, she tells me that I brought too much.  Her boyfriend doesn't want any.  It sounds gross to him.  I smile and take one portion and put it on a plate and start heating it in the microwave.  About 30 seconds in, my mom says, "That smells good."  I nod and leave. 

I live only 8 miles from my mother's house.  Before I get all the way home, my mother calls me laughing to tell me that Donald, her boyfriend, has eaten all of his serving AND the rest of hers as well.  I asked what made him change his mind about trying it and she told me that he said it smelled good and he would try a bite.  I then asked her what made him devour his AND hers and she told me what he said.  His remark summed up the entire chicken lasagna experience.  "Damn, it was good."

Sometimes, an aversion can lead to a great new recipe and something that just sounds disgusting can be really good.  This new lasagna will be a family favorite at our house for years now!